Becoming a mother is one of the biggest changes a woman experiences in her life. What if we told you there’s a word for this transformation? That word is: “matrescence”.
Just like adolescence, that describes the transition from childhood to adulthood, matrescence describes the process of becoming a mother.
We talk a lot about pregnancy, delivery, and even postpartum recovery, but the transition of a mother into motherhood is often overlooked.
Let’s talk about what is matrescence, what happens during matrescence, why understanding it is important, and some helpful tips on how to navigate it.
The term matrescence refers to the process of becoming a mother. It encompasses all of the physical, emotional, mental, and social changes a woman goes through after becoming a mother.
This period usually begins during pregnancy and can continue for years as you grow into your role as a parent.
Matrescence affects almost every aspect of your life. It can feel exciting, beautiful, and sometimes disorienting—and that’s okay. It’s a developmental stage not a problem to be fixed.
Here’s how it shows up:
Your body goes through big changes, not just during pregnancy but also after child birth. Hormones rise and fall, sleep gets disrupted, and your body is healing and recovering. Many women also feel changes in their weight, hair, skin, and menstrual cycles, all of which can affect confidence and energy levels.
Having a baby comes with a wide mix of emotions like joy, excitement, anxiety, guilt, or even grief for losing your “old self”. Your brain rewires itself to become more nurturing and protecting for your baby—which is amazing. But these changes might also feel like an emotional rollercoaster. If you wish you learn more about the emotional changes a mother goes through during pregnancy.
One of the biggest parts of matrescence is the shift in identity. After having a baby you’re not just you anymore—you’re also a mum. This shift in identity often brings a deep sense of purpose but it can also make you question yourself like: Who am I now? What do I want my life to look like?
Your relationship with your partner, friends, and family may also change. Some friends may drift apart who are not in the same stage of life as you are, some relationships may deepen, where you feel more understood.
Relationships with your partner may also face some changes as you both adjust to your new roles and responsibilities.
Many mums find themselves rethinking their career goals, social life, and even beliefs. You may feel slowing down and focusing more on your family. You may also seek new forms of fulfilment and joy outside your work or previous hobbies.
Knowing that there’s a word for what you’re going through can feel validating. Many mothers silently wonder what they are going through and why they don’t feel like “themselves” anymore. Understanding matrescence can help you look at these struggles with a new perspective—as a normal part of a bigger transition and not as a sign that you’re doing something wrong.
Just like we give teenagers grace while they find out who they are during adolescence, mums deserve the same compassion as they grow into motherhood.
Here are some simple and practical ways that can help you support yourself during this journey:
Understand this process:
Simply knowing about matrescence can be reassuring and provide relief. Remind yourself: it’s not a problem, its a process.
Talk about it:
Share your feelings with your partner, a trusted friend or family member, or your healthcare provider. Having honest conversations about how you feel can help you feel less isolated.
Build your support network:
Connect with other mums going through this process. Knowing you’re not alone in this will be helpful. On top of that, you might also get some helpful tips from them about making this process easier.
Take care of yourself:
Take rest when needed, nourish yourself with a healthy diet, and move your body gently once you feel ready. Try to take some time out of your day to relax.
Seek Professional help if needed:
If you’re continuously feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, don’t shy away from talking to your healthcare provider. There’s support out there for you. Remember, seeking support is not a sign of weakness.
There’s no set time limit for matrescence. In many ways it’s lifelong—once you become a parent, you’re always going to be a parent who’s adapting and growing through new phases of babyhood to teenage years and beyond.
So instead of thinking of matrescence as something to “get through”, think of it as an ongoing evolution.
Matrescence is a powerful reminder that motherhood isn’t just about taking care of your baby. It’s also about how you change and reshape yourself during this process.
It can be emotional, messy, and at times even uncomfortable. But it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with what you’re doing, or there’s any shame in having these feelings.
So if you’re feeling lost, exhausted, or not quite yourself, it’s ok! You are not broken—you are becoming!
